Behold, for I have discovered the Most Wikipedia Sentence Ever:
Snagglepuss typically appends the adverbial focus particle "... even" to synonyms (instead of the more commonly used "[concept A]; [concept B, which tops concept A and/or includes but is not limited to concept A] even" format).
(tags: silly )
- 5 Time management tricks I learned from years of hating Tim Ferriss | Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist
Can't argue with that.
(tags: writing blogging )
- The Greenwich Meridian - where east meets west
Probably the most interesting article you'll read today containing the phrases "oblate spheroid", "geodetic meridian", and "one might reasonably expect to be zero".
(tags: geography science cool stuff )
- English Has a New Preposition, Because Internet | The Atlantic
"[...]the `because-noun' form is limited only to the confines of your own imagination. It can be anything you want it to be". DESCRIPTIVIST PROPAGANDA RAAARH
(tags: language grammar writing internet )
- The Neuroscientist Who Discovered He Was a Psychopath | Surprising Science
Whatever fucker wrote this article has (presumably) read at least one book about psychology and nonetheless can't stop irself conflating "psychopath" and "serial killer". Having said that, so does the featured neuroscientist in direct quotations. Perhaps he wasn't a particularly /good/ neuroscientist which is why he's had to turn his hand to writing pop-science books. Oh well. Quite interesting regardless.
(tags: psychology science journalism writing )
- If I had the vote I'd grab the chance of Scottish independence | John Harris | Comment is free | The Guardian
"something very exciting is afoot": the first reasonable article about indy in the mainstream UK media, you're not kidding.
(tags: handwringing lefty guardianistas ftw news politics scotland indyref independence )
- The Armando Iannucci Shows - Except for viewers in Scotland | Youtube
This (perfectly delivered) gag, the initial premise of which is that technology has already led to the obsolescence of regional television, was first broadcast before the Twin Towers fell. Take that, Better Together.
(tags: video comedy scotland tv politics indyref )
- The Period, Our Simplest Punctuation Mark, Has Become a Sign of Anger | New Republic
Oh Ghod this is getting ridiculous now. Apparently, while I wasn't looking, the full stop has become obsolete except as an indicator of passive-aggression. CONSTANT VIGILANCE
(tags: language grammar writing internet )
- Ee ja nai ka - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Or, as we would call it today, "YOLO"
(tags: history culture society )
- Lady Gaga: ARTPOP review | viagroar
I do think that Gaga has become more pretentious and less listenable as time goes on, which is a shame. Nonetheless I'd still be getting this if it weren't for the contribution from R Kelly---who on earth think's he's still relevant any more?
(tags: music review )
- Man Smoking E-Cigarette Must Be Futuristic Bounty Hunter | The Onion
As Laurie Penny once said: you know what's cooler than cancer? a ROBOT CIGARETTE.
(tags: comedy writing silly )
- Get the Full Pop Education Trilogy Online! | Kickstarter
Frisky & Mannish deserve ALL YOUR MONEY. Let's make this happen, chaps and folks.
(tags: music comedy kickstarter )
- It was hard to stomach David Cameron preaching austerity from a golden throne | Graun
Is this what they call a "gaffe"? Considering his PR background, he's spectacularly good at making himself look like an utter dick. I wonder why that could be.
(tags: news politics bloodytories austerity economy fuckwits )
- Google Books held to be fair use | Matthew Sag
Library digitization is apparently a transformative work with massive social benefit. This is great news.
(tags: news law copyfight tech internet usa )
- Why do private-sector zealots choose to ignore the countless ways public money underpins daily life? - Comment - Voices - The Independent
"Free-market triumphalism is endemic among the British elite, but rarely challenged. It’s time to start exposing it for the sham it is. They demonise the state, but they are dependent on it. Perhaps they should be a bit more grateful."
(tags: economics economy handwringing lefty guardianistas ftw news politics )
- Smatterings: We could have had a better tomorrow
Bastards. The only way for this to make any sense is that they want to remove the Bedroom Tax only when they're in power, and one has to admit that their manifesto would look pretty goddamn thin without it. Bastards. We pay them £66k salaries so that they can vote on things, and this is what we get? Bastards.
(tags: bloodytories economy inequality news politics poverty )
- Animal instinct | katie mulgrew
Wow. I like to look at pretty ladies as much as the next man, but... wow. Note also the gratuitous attempted astroturfing in the comments, and @michaellegge's diligent and accurate rebuttals of same.
(tags: comedy fuckwits sexism )
- Conservatives erase Internet history - Public Sector IT
I'm not quite sure that "editing robots.txt" exactly counts as "attempting to erase a ten-year backlog of speeches from Internet", but nonetheless the words "memory hole" spring readily to mind. Manifesto commitments are a bitch, ain't they?
(tags: bloodytories internet news politics tech )
- Lookspring » Mind games
" I like co-op games where the other player gets a beer, not a second controller, but can still be utterly pivotal to the outcome of a game." I usually like to be the Other Player. "FTL, whose pause function lets it tick-tock between everything happening at once, and an eerily huge possibility space, is remarkably well geared for collaborative play." If only I could ever remember to pause....
(tags: gaming )
- ARTEMIS | Spaceship Bridge Simulator
“Artemis isn’t an official Star Trek game, but it is the Star Trek game you’ve always dreamed of.” WANT.
(tags: cool stuff gaming tech )
- The Figurative Truth | Bob the Angry Flower
This is literally relevant to my interests.
(tags: language grammar comic )
- 86 year old makes a beautiful rage comic | gagism
This is pretty damn awesome.
(tags: comic life history internet socialmedia )
- Dropbox unveils major redesign to simplify separating business and personal data | Venturebeat
Sounds good. A simple change, but it should make all the difference.
(tags: internet tech news )
- The Economics of Star Trek — Editor's Picks — Medium
"A proto-post-scarcity economy". Sounds reasonable to me, but I gots concerns about individual ship owners like Harry Mudd and Kasidy Yates. If they're allowed small interstellar vessels but (presumably) can't own a Galaxy-class starship by themselves, where's the cutoff point?
(tags: economics scifi star trek )
- Pain in the ananas: etymology maps | Graun
This is awesome. More please.
(tags: language etymology cool stuff history )
- BBC Radio 4 Extra - Doctor Who, Dr Who: The timeless appeal of the Time Lord’s theme tune.
I remember the Eric Winstone version! I used to have it on a record.
(tags: music doctorwho history )
Experienced my first anti-Scottish racism on Wednesday. I've lived in Scotland for fourteen years now and have experienced plenty of anti-English racism; usually from people in bars who were on my side while England were playing Germany but then, ninety seconds after the final whistle blows, decide to call me an English cunt. Oh how we laughed. Feels odd to be on the other side of it, but not entirely unexpected.
On the train down to That London, through That London, and out the other side Dorset-bound. I am pretty much a London expert now. The first time I went down there as an adult I spent the first day simply riding around the integrated transport system in awe. I thought that having a Lobster card would be creepy, RFID and all that, but it turns out to be fantastically useful—look at me, ma! I can go anywhere! They even have boats!
By now I just huff and glare at the other passengers and catch the Piccadilly Line to Leicester Square and then transfer onto the Northern Line to Waterloo without a care. I still find London itself a little creepy. There are no old people in London. There are no disabled people in London—although I did once see someone on crutches. Everyone is just slightly too well turned-out and glamorous. It's as if the entire place, all seven million of them, are one giant Potemkin village. But the integrated transport system: that's nifty, and I can commute with the best of them.
Through London, then, and out the other side. Found myself on the train out of Waterloo sitting at a table with three young urban professionals, all wearing amusing cufflinks on shirts that would cost a week's worth of my salary. From the conversation I judged that they were in the business of buying and selling yachts to other, wealthier, young urban professionals. I was becoming increasingly aware that I was in England and that these were not my people, never were. At this point I was listening to Capercaillie on the ipod and eating a deliberately, relentlessly, nay dare I say it vindictively pan-European sandwich that I'd prepared earlier (sopocka and Leerdammer on ciabatta, trivia-fans) in an attempt to stave off homesickness. It was partially successful and that is because, where sandwiches are concerned, I roll twenties. I had crossed the border five hours previously.
Of the ticket inspector I asked a question which, I thought, would be a perfectly reasonable example of the genre:
Is there wifi?
There was a Silence, the kind of silence you only get when the saloon doors flap and the honky-tonk piano player stops mid-arpeggio. Said silence continued for about two and a half seconds longer than was comfortable, although it felt a lot longer while the Inspector looked at me—inspected me, no less— with narrowed eyes, as if I'd asked him for a happy ending. Eons passed, the civilization of man rose and fell, the civilization of cockroaches rose and fell, the civilization of squid rose and fell. Galaxies collided, then crashed and flew off. Then spake the Inspector thus:
No. The company's owned by a Scotsman.
Funny, that, said I. I've just had free wifi all the way down on East Coast Rail. That one's owned by five million Scotsmen.
Okay, no I didn't, but I was thinking it pretty loud.
The training in Dorset was all about time management, so mostly consisted of
To-do lists are good and
Get a to-do-list. Then there was a section on assertiveness, because the fundamental yet unspoken rule of time management is
always postpone meetings with time-wasting morons. That evening, after the CULINARY CHALLENGE and an indeterminate number of beers,
$FINANCE_DIRECTOR asked of me my opinion on the possibilities of Scottish Independence. I am a good manager who pays attention to his training, and I seize opportunities as they arise. This was a chance to test my newfound assertiveness, so I told him.
scotm, you would have been proud of me, although I suspect some of my figures were off. And I don't think
$FINANCE_DIRECTOR was convinced.
Currently entrained at 113mph, somewhere between Newark-on-Trent and Worksop, on my way back to a civilized nation, where we have free wifi. And healthcare.
This video, from 2008, is making a lot more sense now:
Mike Read. Ten minutes. Rapping. And then they got into power and we all wondered how come the Tories were so out of touch with reality.
I say they
got into power. We let them. An insufficient minority of the UK population voted Tory, and had we known about this Mike Read thing back then, we could have had those voters all sectioned anyway so those votes wouldn't have counted. Then we had five days of frantic squabbling and Kay Burley screeching that
the people voted for a hung parliament before, finally, a dishfaced twat liked by precisely no one went to ask the Queen if he could form a Government full of his old schoolmates.
It was the duty of every responsible citizen, as Cameron headed for the Palace, to rugby-tackle the bastard before he could get there. If for no other reason than to stop him wasting Her Maj's time. For the greatest dramatic effect, leave it til the last minute and do it with as much violence as possible.
Your Majesty, I humbly request permission to form a Government on Your behAUGHWOOFH!
I was occupied at the time (they had one from Stewart's Brewery I hadn't tried before, and one from Inveralmond), but the rest of you have no such excuse. Come to think of it, the BBC were in on it the whole time. It's no wonder they gave up on us shortly afterwards and turned evil—they'd done everything possible for us and none of us took the hint. Constant rolling news-helicopter footage of a Bentley slowly progressing along Whitehall.
And now we see David Cameron's car turning left at some traffic lights. David Cameron there, on his way to Buckingham Palace, where he is expected to ask Her Majesty the Queen for permission to form a government. His car is now pausing outside the crosshatched box before an intersection. Now he's turning right. The BBC Charter probably prevented them from outright coming out and saying it, but they came as close as they could:
THERE HE IS, YOU BASTARDS! GET HIM!
On further reflection, we should formalize this. In the event of a hung parliament, this should be how things are decided from now on: by a drag race down Whitehall. First one to reach Her Maj gets to form a government. All dirty tricks allowed. Gordon trips up Dave before he even gets into the car, then bounces his giant dish-shaped face off the bonnet, just to make sure, before he peels off. Then Nick comes up from the inside and slides sideways, tyres screeching, to a stop in front of the Palace gates. A cloud of dust and burnt rubber puffs down the Mall like papal white smoke. Democracy. Is. Served.
Makes a lot more sense than the current system, anyway.
- References to Sexual Activity in media that is deemed appropriate for children | Engerfield Nursing Home For The Mentally Disordered
Because WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDRENS and children are special and precious and must be protected from everything ever and never under any circumstances allowed to experience the real world in any way. I'd quote Chris Morris at this point if I had the energy. (PS: Jennie, amusing as your fluctuating blog titles are, I wish I could link to you with any kind of consistency.)
(tags: politics news bloodytories sexuality fuckwits )
- The Nasty Party is back, sneering at food banks and those who use them | Independent Voices
I particularly like the bit where the bastards are now claiming that food bank use has only risen because there are more food banks. In other news: the Red Cross found responsible for all earthquakes. Fuckers.
(tags: politics news poverty welfare bloodytories fuckwits )
- "Sorry to put this on you but I have an honest question about depression an suicide" | Matt Fraction
[Trigger warning should be obvious] This made me giggle like a twit. He's exactly right: the things that make a difference, and the things that sometimes make it all worth it, are exactly the things you would least expect to be significant. Except he puts it way more poetically. With more Van Morrison and pubic topiary, which incidentally is going to be the name of my next band.
(tags: mental health writing depression )
- Mental Floss Exclusive: Our Interview with Bill Watterson! | Mental Floss
Really disappointed with this. Watterson is more reclusive than a dead autistic Trappist, and somebody finally creates a major journalistic coup by getting an interview with him, and then they hand the interview over to the seventeen-year-old intern who has never read Terry Pratchett's rules for interviews. Bad form, Mental Floss. Nonetheless Watterson gives it his best shot regardless.
(tags: interview comic art writing )
- On repatriation and “It’s easy: Send them back” | nanila
My favourite rocket scientist reminds us: social justice is for all of us, including the people we like.
(tags: politics uk immigration bloodytories )
- Gamers solve decade old HIV puzzle in ten days | ZME Science
Protein folding is apparently a cinch for a bunch of nerds with time on their hands.
(tags: medical news tech science )
- Skull of Homo erectus throws story of human evolution into disarray | Science | theguardian.com
Apparently skull variation between different species is because different people don't all look the same. Makes sense. Actually seeing the extent of variation is striking.
(tags: archaeology news science )
- #IndyRef Reading List | National Collective
I already have Unstated. The rest of these look good.
(tags: scotland politics indyref independence )
- Comedian Mark Thomas on construction blacklist | Independent
I love the way this must have worked. In the construction industry, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So, here's the scene at Evil Union-Busting Bastard Headquarters: "Master, we are being criticized by a politically-active comedian." "Blacklisssst him." "But he's not a construction worker---" "Blacklissst him, I sssay!"
(tags: politics bloodytories fuckwits )
- North from here | Wings Over Scotland
How refereshing it is to see an accurate, unbiased, non-hysterical analysis of the possibilities of independence. Apparently the Europeans aren't fashed at all, and they should know a thing or two about being small countries that are doing Quite Nicely Thank You Very Much without being part of the UK.
(tags: scotland politics europe indyref news independence )
- Young Adult Literature with female characters | Peacock Feathers & Diamond Rings
All recommended for those requiring non-stereotypical role models. Contains Nancy Blackett obviously, as should all such lists.
(tags: sexism equality literature writing )
- Blue Fucking Moon | Total Ales
"If Brewdog put an iota of the energy they focus on hatemongering against brands such as Blue Moon into making fucking amazing beer then I'd wager they'd make a lot more fucking amazing beer".
(tags: beer food food politics blog )
- Scottish independence: SNP pledge on minimum wage | Scotland on Sunday
Fair play to Eck---more of this please.
(tags: scotland politics indyref news independence )
- Modern Politicking | scotm
Scottie explains how he got here. Compelling.
(tags: politics blogging )
- Ian McKellen recites the instructions for changing a t[iy]re | Youtube
While we're on the subject: this is a man who knows how to work it.
(tags: silly luvviedom acting video )
- Aims by Vienna Teng | Soundcloud
I'd heard the name Vienna Teng before, but not listened to any of her stuff. This is really quite remarkably good. "Fighting music", as aria put it, but in a way I hadn't considered before. I like it a lot.
(tags: music )
- Mark Forsyth's top 10 lost words | The Guardian
We need "snollygoster" more than ever.
(tags: writing language )
- Extinct tree grows anew from ancient jar of seeds unearthed by archaeologists
(tags: history archaeology news )
- Red Cross launches emergency food aid plan for UK’s hungry | The Independent
Congratualtions, Gideon. We are now a third-world fucking country.
(tags: politics poverty news economy bloodytories fuckwits )
- Sluts, Slags and Pantaloni | The Inky Fool
A bit late to the party on this one, but what the hell. The Inky Fool utterly demolishes Godfrey Bloom MEP... with etymology.
(tags: politics writing bloodytories language fuckwits )
- It’s enough to make you cancel your reservation | bl0gdramedy
I've had most of these. We had our first "how dare you not speak my language in your own country" last week.
(tags: fuckwits )
- video about the furore over Gamespot "only" giving GTAV 9/10
"If gamers want video gaming to be taken seriously, they need to bite the bullet and allow social critique to enter gaming."
(tags: sexism society gaming )
- Star Wars vs Star Trek: An Objective Analysis | Cracked.com
Can't really argue with this.
(tags: tv sf fandom star trek )
- littera_abactor: I Has a Sweet Potato
For those of you wondering: yes, this is what it's like to have a dog.
(tags: silly writing blog )
- Inspiration / Box
Real-time 3D projection mapping looks amazing.
(tags: art tech cool stuff video )
- 7 Reasons Why Brian Blessed is the Best Human | Vada Magazine
Not listed: Brian blessed vs. lost drivers; Brian Blessed vs. the people who have to edit episodes of Have I Got News For You
(tags: silly writing acting cool stuff )
- Labour will be tougher than Tories on benefits, promises new welfare chief | Graun
That's if you ever get elected, since you've now proved that there is absolutely no difference between you and the other bastards.
(tags: hardesthit politics news welfare bloodytories )
- Genetics outweighs teaching, Gove adviser tells his boss | Graun
Meanwhile on the other side of the aisle: eugenics "not actually such a bad idea", Hitler "basically misunderstood", say a bunch of hiedous, evil cunts who need to be shot in their fat heads NOW before they can do any more damage.
(tags: politics news society bloodytories education fuckwits )
- Nuclear fusion milestone passed at US lab | BBC News
Exciting! Fusion upgraded from "constantly T+20 years away" to "constantly T+19 years away". Meet me in the Moonbase One bar in 2033, the first bottle of Chateau Tranquility is on me.
(tags: news tech science )
- Earth Lens
(tags: photos space cool stuff photography )
- Doctor Who: The Web of Fear and The Enemy of the World recovered
I was concerned that the BBC were to announce "a number" of recovered lost episodes when, as Adric would doubtless remind us, zero is a number---but then it turned out to include The Enemy Of The World, which I am totally excited about. Starring Patrick Troughton as the Doctor! Guest-starring Patrick Troughton as The Bad Guy! Special-guest-starring Patrick Troughton as The Doctor Pretending To Be The Bad Guy, and briefly as The Bad Guy Pretending To Be The Doctor! Oh yes and also The Web Of Fear, which is apparently great. And has The Brig in it.
(tags: news doctorwho tv )
- The 29 Stages Of A Twitterstorm | Buzzfeed
aka. The 1 Articles Most Likely To Redeem Buzzfeed For All The Linkbait Crap They Constantly Post. This is close to perfect. I got to about stage 8 before I realized that it wasn't a real thing that I'd simply missed. And then---aaand then!---someone set up the Twitter accounts mentioned therin and /it began to happen in real life/. Mere fiction was insufficiently vast to contain its greatness. Parodies don't get much better.
(tags: silly socialmedia internet )
- Bankers 'Struggling' To Live On £500,000-A-Year Due To 'Lack Of Common Sense' | Huffington Post
(tags: economy bloodytories fuckwits inequality )
- Constructing the Sierpinski triangle | oftenpaper.net
This guy really loves him some Sierpinski triangles.
(tags: nerd maths cool stuff )
<spoiler> tag demonstration
Somebody get the captain of the W3C on the line stat.
(tags: tech internet cool stuff )
- The Truth About Jobseekers' Allowance
Please disregard the Comic Sans on the title page. The other 63 slides are entirely full of good stuff.
(tags: unemployment slideshow poverty workfare bloodytories inequality )
- Dogs Are People, Too - NYTimes.com
Anyone who's had one could probably have told you this, but it's nice to see supporting evidence.
(tags: science )
- Human Beings: Absolutely Terrifying Apex Predators
"OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD"
(tags: silly scifi )
The irrepressible and frequently incorrect dhothersall started it. It's not my fault, I promise.
So #indyrefpoetry is a thing. All of my efforts have been far, far too terrible to commit to the Twitters, but that's what I have a longform blog for, so now you all must suffer. scotm deserves credit for originally enduring all of these over IMs. He will testify that, although terrible, they were at least written very fast. Regular readers may recall that I seem to do all right at iambic pentameter. How bad can it be?
( Pretty damn bad, actuallyCollapse )
My last attempt actually fit into 140 chars, and was
Oh, ye cannae shove yer Westminster oligarchs aff a gravy train. Thus was it indicated, quite appropriately I think, that it was time to stop.
ETA.( Oh, no, there's moreCollapse )
I tried to do a pastiche of Sassoon, but it just isn't going to work. Sassoon is beyond my meagre skills. You should probably consider yourselves lucky.
No, I'm not going to do Rabbie, and you all already know why.